Friday, March 4, 2011

Faith Friday: Getting Mad

I know!  A Faith Friday post?!  On an actual FRIDAY?!
Well, either that or life has just been that crazy lately lol.
On top of keeping the pups last week/weekend, my wonderful mother-in-law came to stay with us on Wednesday!  She leaves tonight (sad face) but we have had a wonderful time chatting and drinking tea!
Oh, and did I mention she's a massage therapist?  Because she is--she's one of the best!
And she was sweet enough to give me TWO massages and, in doing so, FIXED my right shoulder and neck!
They've been so tight and painful for the past month, and now they're all nice and loosey-goosey!
Anyway, on to what has prompted this post.
I had one of my yelling-at-God sessions the other day.  
Well, a close relative of mine received some bad health news recently.  
Basically, she's been diagnosed with an autoimmune condition.
That makes three of us on that side of my family.
I am pretty pissed off about it actually.  
I mean, come on.  
Weren't two of us finding out we have an incurable, chronic illness enough?
Wasn't two of us having to completely restructure are lives and how we go about living them sufficient?
When I expressed this to another, they said, "Don't be mad.  That doesn't do any good.  Be sad for her, sure, but don't be mad."  I've also been told that "God has a plan and everything happens for a reason, 
so you shouldn't ever get mad at God."  
Let me address the first statement, and then I'll deal with the second.
In response to the first directive, I cry bullshit.
I acknowledge that being angry about the situation won't change anything; however, anger is not useless.
When properly channeled, anger helps me focus.
It gives me energy to resist breaking down in tears.
I would rather be royally pissed off than to start crying any day of the week.

Which brings me to the second part of that directive--be sad for her.
Giving into being sad for her will do absolutely zero good.
She's going to have enough people saying "I'm so sorry" and asking "How are you?" in the tone of voice reserved for funerals.
She's going to have enough people pitying her and being sad for her.
If she calls on me for disease-related reasons, it will be for emotional support, commiseration, venting, and empathy.  It will be to hear someone who has been through a similar situation say
"The damn disease does NOT define YOU."
I know exactly how it feels to be handed a diagnosis like this.
It's tremendously difficult for a whole slew of reasons.  
Here's a few:
1)  There's nobody to blame.
2)  It's your OWN BODY attacking you.
3)  It's never going away.
4)  It will get worse as life continues.
5)  The future you envisioned has to be drastically redesigned.
6)  While trying to come to terms with it yourself, you have to watch your loved ones struggle to deal too.
OF COURSE I am sad that she is going to have to go through all of that:  my heart breaks for her.
However, I know she'll make it through just fine and that she will still have a wonderfully full and happy life.
After all, I have, and if I can do it, she definitely can!

In response to the second directive I've already discussed the "God has a plan" topic in another post.
In regards to "everything happens for a reason" I will undoubtedly write a more in-depth post on that later.
For now let me just say I believe that we can find a reason in everything that happens--and that the two aren't necessarily the same thing.

Now, to examine the statement that I "shouldn't get angry with God", let me clarify.  I'm not angry at or with God.  That implies that my relatives' conditions (and mine, for that matter) are God's fault, that God did something to make this happen.  I completely and totally disagree with THAT.
However, I have absolutely zero problem taking my anger to God.
When I take my anger to God, I am NOT necessarily asking Him(/Her/It) to fix the situation.
Nor am I asking God to "take away the anger from my heart."
The way I see it, God is very familiar with anger.  
You can't tell me that He can see all of the screwed up crap that 
goes on in this world and not get angry about it.
Since we're made in His image, 
I don't think that He expects us to rid ourselves of anger.
Does He expect us to control our actions when we're angry?
Of course.
But I don't believe He wants us to never, ever get angry.
That's why I have no problem yelling at God about what pisses me off.
He sees my heart and knows I'm not pissed off at Him, not to mention He's got pretty big metaphysical shoulders--I'm pretty sure He can take it.
And for those of you who are shocked at the idea of railing at the Lord, 
I figure He's heard worse in His existence.

1 comment:

  1. You continue to amaze me with your words of wisdom! Love you


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