On My Mind

I once thought that the more I had on my mind, the more I would blog.

That the busier my life became, the more topics I would cover in my posts.

This last week, I've had a lot on my mind and have been very busy--and yet, I haven't posted once.

So, apparently my initial theory was incorrect.  In actuality, the busier my mind and my life become, the less I blog.  Or maybe it just depends on what is preoccupying my mind.

After all, I don't necessarily share everything that's going on with me here, on an online blog.

This week was a long one for me mentally.  Why?  Well, I was five days late.  

Yes, I mean THAT kind of late.

For those who might still be confused, I'm talking about my period.  

As y'all might remember, Bryan and I have stopped trying to prevent a baby--in other words, we're hoping to get pregnant.  Now, this is only our second month trying, and I'm not entirely sure my system has regulated itself yet, so it's really no surprise that we're not expecting yet.

But for some reason, I got my hopes up this month.  Chalk it up to being a silly girl.

So, with each day that passed this week, I kept wondering "Am I?  Am I not?" to the point where I didn't care which way the cards fell, I just wanted a definitive answer.  That particular internal struggle was pretty consuming and not something that I wanted to lay out in written form.  So instead of writing, I filled my week up with productivity--gardening, knitting, cooking, painting.  At least I wasn't entirely in my own head!

And you know, it's been a wonderful week!  Sure, I'm a bit disappointed that I'm not pregnant, but there are several reasons to be glad that I'm not yet:

1) Wine.  Beer.  Vodka.  Whiskey.  ALCOHOL.  I want a drink and now that my period has started, I can have one!  I'm really not looking forward to the Prohibition Era that is pregnancy.

2) Weight Watchers continues.  I have a specific goal that I would like to meet before I find out I'm pregnant.  Though I'm still very close, my last weigh in was a bit of a set back.  I have to quit WW as soon as I find out I'm pregnant--and now I still have time to meet my goal!

3) Painting.  I really would like, as unrealistic of a goal as this may turn out to be, to finish repainting the entire downstairs before we find out I'm pregnant.  We've gotten a lot done, but there's so much left to do!

4) Having a kid will be wonderful, but I want to enjoy every moment of it just being Bryan and me.  I will be ecstatic when we are pregnant, but I'm also glad to have a bit more time with it being just the two of us.

On top of all of that, we still have until July before I revisit the fertility drugs question with my doctors.  At that point, as my OBG put it, we're most likely looking at "at least twins"!  So, plenty of time before that to just have one baby.  And if we do end up with more than one, that would be wonderful too.  So either way, plenty of time and plenty to look forward to!

And just so there will be pictures--my plants are blooming and they're beautiful!

 My magnolia tree!

 My fortnight lilies!

 My bottle-brush bushes!