Wednesday, May 5, 2010

cRAzy world, amazing life

When I first started this blog, it had a different URL.  It was silly and a bit ostentatious (though I still like the basic concept behind latitudinarianism), so I decided to change the URL to something more descriptive of my life.  This is where came in.  One idea I had when selecting my current URL was to capitalize the RA in crazy, making it cRAzyworldamazinglife.  That way, there would be an emphasis on my Rheumatoid Arthritis right there in the blog address!

RA is a significant factor in my life and will be for as long as I live.  It is a progressive disease, and as such, the possibility of it adversely affecting my health and mobility at some point is fairly good.  

And that is exactly why I decided NOT to emphasize RA in my blog URL.  I refuse to let RA become a focal point of my life.  If I focus on it, it will slowly start to control me, and I refuse to let that happen.

Now, on days like the past three, that is much easier said than done.  This flare I'm in has lasted three days, which is by far the worst flare in quite a while.  I'm still limping today, and while my wrist and elbow have improved, they are still achy.  It's frustrating--I'm on the next-to-highest dose of Remicade, the highest dose of methotrexate, and various other drugs and I'm STILL flaring.  This is not what is supposed to happen, and it's especially not supposed to happen less than a month from my last infusion, when I'm taking my methotrexate like a good girl!

And yes, I know that what "should be" has little to no bearing on what "is".  In acknowledgment of that fact, today I finally gave in and called Dr. C (my rheumatologist).  He's called me in some medication, which I'll go pick up when the hubby and I get dinner.

On Bryan's strong insistence, I also called Dr. Y (my primary care physician) and requested an addition to my follow-up appointment on Tuesday--the filling out of paperwork to obtain a handicapped placard for my car.  His assistant--L--was very supportive, and we'll take care of it on Tuesday, after Dr. Y and I go over the results of my yearly physical.

I've been fighting the "get a handicap tag" step since I was diagnosed, but I'm finally giving in.  I know I shouldn't let stubborn pride (I'm only 25!  I shouldn't need one!) or fear (I'm only 25!  I don't want to have to need one this young!) keep my from taking the correct steps to preserve my body when I can.

But DAMN it!  lol

Oh well.  On the upside, I won't be using the placard all the time--just on days like the past three when walking the extra distance in the parking lot is excruciating (though the wonderful security guard picked me up in his golf cart yesterday when he saw me limping!).  And on the days I need it, it will save me a lot of pain.

And now, to focus on non-RA-related life!

Since I'm hurting, my students have been wonderful.  They always are when I'm sick or hurting.  I haven't really been able to do much teaching, so they've been doing a lot of independent work from the book and reading handouts--which means I pretty laid back week for me.  Which is exactly what I need, so I'm trying not to feel too guilty about it.  There's only 20 days left with kids in school, and only 2 days before the weekend, when my little brother graduates from college!

And tonight, I get to have dinner with a wonderful man, and then enjoy watching TV, reading books, or whatever else we end up doing until bedtime.  I love my husband :-).


Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by!
I love reading your thoughts about my posts, so please leave a comment!
I'll either respond here or come comment back on your blog, promise! ;-)


Related Posts with Thumbnails