Friday, July 25, 2008

One of Those Moments of Clarity

It's interesting how the past interacts with the present, and how the past can show up in the present. It makes you think.

In a previous post, I mentioned a former friend. I heard something about them the other day--life is funny sometimes--and from all accounts, their life seems like it is going to be a very difficult one. Upon hearing this, I realized something. I no longer feel any pain, anger, or hurt from their past actions. When I think about the past, about that former friend, I actually pity them...they don't understand so much about life, the right things to do, or healthy relationships/friendships. When I heard about them and their life the other day, I felt sad for them. Sad! After so much time of feeling hurt and angry! I've finally moved beyond all of it, am so far removed that it feels like another life. In realizing all of this, I realized I actually wish them well. I never wished for ill to happen--I'd never wish that for anyone--but now, I actually hope that this former friend will come to understand that they have the ability to be a better person, and I hope that realization will lead them into healthy relationships and a better, happier life. I know I'll probably never know if this comes about or not, but that doesn't matter. I don't need to. In my moment of clarity, I found a deep-seated peace about all of it that's been coming on for awhile now. In a twisted way, I'm actually grateful for what happened--not that they showed themselves to be a bad person/friend--but that through the whole experience, I became a stronger person, and my relationship with my husband became so much stronger and closer.

Speaking of my wonderful man, he surprised me by coming home early today! It was such a wonderful surprise. I'll wake him up from his nap soon. Poor guy's worked 50-60 hours a week for the past couple of weeks--big project at work just kicked off! After I wake him up, I'll make us dinner, and then we'll spend the evening reading together, playing with the pups, maybe watch a movie...who knows? It's Friday night after all!

Another thing I'm at peace about--I start school in a month! A month from this very day, I will be helping challenge and shape the minds of young students! I'm so excited. I'll be helping add to the family coffers, so to speak, and finally be starting the next stage of life. Grad school wraps up this next week, and I should have my degree conferred by the beginning of August.

My classes are going well, my career is about to start, and my marriage is incredibly happy and so much fun! I feel very blessed. My life is wonderful, and the future is bright!

Anyways, I was just thinking!


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